Truth In Advertising

How pleased I was to hear that the national church has launched a series of ads in various media for this summer. Apparently, the print ad will run in the newspaper with the big color pictures this weekend, and they've somehow managed to put something on the talking boxes one sees in airport terminals. I don't know if there are any plans to put them on e-mail machines.
Aside from snarky comments about the church's lack of media saavy and sensibilities that go beyond, oh, 1956, there are other problems:

• are people supposed to bring their own carrot slicers to church, or do we provide them?


• if carrot slicing is the most inspirational thing about coming to church on a Sunday, don't we have bigger problems?


• while I'm not the biggest Jesus-pusher I know, is there a better way to connect HOW slicing carrots proclaims the Gospel? (I'm just reaching here, but maybe a word or two from the Bible might help)

What I hear time and again is that people who aren't in church don't have a problem with Jesus. They have a problem with church. So if someone were inspired enough by this ad to come to one of our churches on Sunday, what will they see? What will they expect to see? Will it fit the ad? Or will they be asked why their carrot slicer is rusty? Will they be told that carrot slicing only takes place on the fourth Sunday of months that begin in J? Will they be preached to about the price of carrots in a conservative church vs. the price in a liberal church?
If we're going to advertise the church, we'd better be clear about what we're advertising. And what we advertise better be consistent with who we are. And if we don't know that, then no amount of advertising will help us. Not even if all we're asking for is help peeling carrots.