In this, the final of Paul's defenses of his ministry, there are some additional details added to his recounting of the events on the road to Damascus where he had his vision of Jesus. In a few places in this account, Paul intensifies the language he uses to tell what happened. The light he saw for instance is "brighter than the sun". "We all fell to the ground" is a slightly different version than what we read in the first account back in chapter 9 of this book where it is reported that the companions hear the voice but it is not mentioned that they fall to the ground or see the light. The main story is not changed, but it is more dramatically told.
But the most interesting addition to the account is Paul's inclusion of the phrase that he hears Jesus using, "Why do you kick against the goads?" That phrase, commonly found in classical literature (Aeschylus and Pindar for example), was how one described what it was like to resist the will of the gods. Paul's use of it, which was probably intentional, resonated with the audience before whom he was speaking. Prior to this vision Paul had been an observant Pharisee and had persecuted the Christian believers. Having heard the voice of God from heaven, he changed his beliefs and his direction. It's exactly how the Hellenistic world would expect a man to respond to the urging of his god. And Paul's experiences preaching the Gospel of Jesus served to verify to his hearers that this was an authentic encounter with the divine.
It is interesting that Paul uses this classical phrase to describe his experience of conversion. He was pushing against the will of God and was experiencing pain as a result. But notice that the pain is not caused by God directly, it's caused by Paul refusing to embrace the purpose for which he was created. Because he would not be true to God's purpose for him, he was cutting himself off from the Truth and from the profound Joy which we experience when we follow the Truth. God's response to this stubborn refusal is not to smite Paul or to curse him in anyway. Actually it's rather the contrary isn't it? Paul is free and has the approval of all while he is actively persecuting the Church. It's only when he seeks to serve Christ that he experiences opposition and personal persecution from his community. It's because he has turned to follow Christ that his is standing in court bound in chains. But Paul understands the difference between the appearance of freedom and true freedom. And it is the true freedom, even while bound that he is attempting to explain to Agrippa and to Festus. And it is this freedom that will take him to Rome and to his death.
Today, Good Friday, we hear how Jesus was bound and taken to his death just outside the gates of Jerusalem. We, like Paul, in rejecting the Messiah, cause God not to smite us, but instead to suffer. God's response to our rejection, like to Paul's, is an intensification of God's love toward us. Jesus, in way no one else ever has, embraces God's will completely in the moment of Good Friday, as hard and mysterious a thing it is for us to understand what that means.
How are we feeling pain in our own lives right now? What is the cause of that pain? Are we too kicking against the goads? Are we resisting God's purpose for our lives? Thanks be to God that very few of us are ultimately called to suffer the same fate that befell Paul or Jesus, and we don't have to fear that sort of end. But how willing are we to rethink where we are in our lives and return to God's purpose for us? Are we willing to find our own unique vocation?
I will miss this Bible study. It has become a daily part of my life. Is there any thought of continuing studies?
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed the readings and the reflections as well. I have also enjoyed commenting when so moved.
ReplyDeleteEGO is the acronym for Edge God Out. This chapter, Paul’s reflection, and the story of Jesus' crucifixion, remind me that when I am acting from ego, I am edging God out. I am resisting and in tension with my true meaning and purpose. This reminds me that I need to live with acceptance, without judgment, and without resistance. Good Friday. Regardless of tradition it offers a reminder that the moment we surrender and accept what is without judgment and without resistance, we experience divine grace. Forgive them for they know not what they do. Easy to say but it can be difficult practice. There is divine grace behind all suffering....yet it requires something of us. Can we honor the polarities, move to centering, and be comfortable in the paradox. The torture instrument then becomes a symbol of the divine.