Acts, Chapter 20 (NRSV)In this chapter Paul takes leave of the work he has been doing in Asia. Paul had spent years in Asia talking about the Gospel, teaching about Jesus and raising up leaders for the young churches he was planting. The account of his work in the region ends with a late night teaching meeting. Paul talks for so long into the night that a young man falls asleep while Paul goes on and on. The falling asleep occasions a fall from a window (probably a second story one). The account in Acts implies that the young man dies as a result, but Paul, when he bends over him, does not pray or call on the power of the Holy Spirit. Paul notices that the boy is still breathing and tell people not to be upset. Then Paul goes upstairs and continues to teach until dawn.
It's that single-minded dedication to his task that is the background for the story told in the rest of this chapter. Paul knows he is being called to Jerusalem - and wants to be there by Pentecost. He is leaving behind the fruits of his labors and heading toward an unknown fate. He tells the people in Asia, as he is leaving, that he is being told by the Holy Spirit that he will continue to experience resistance, persecution and imprisonment as a result of his work proclaiming the Gospel. Recall Jesus' words to his disciples telling them that such will be their fate after he leaves them. Paul's experience is a sign that he is truly doing what Jesus is asking him to do.
In his final conversation with the elders of Ephesus (which could mean he was meeting with priests of that church) he warns them that they too will face conflict, though of a different sort. In their case, the conflict will arise from within the Church. Some of Paul's followers will begin to distort the Gospel message in ways that are meant to attract more followers rather than continuing to be faithful in telling the Truth no matter the cost. I suppose there's a form of comfort for us today in those words too; we have seen similar things in our own history. According to Paul this is what happens within the Church. And Jesus warns about something similar when he is teaching the disciples during his earthly ministry.
Finally Paul kneels with the elders and prays with them one more time, and together they weep at this parting. Perhaps it's because I remember these sorts of partings during my ministry as a priest (elder) that I am drawn particularly to this part of the chapter this morning. I've said goodbye to three churches during that work. The first leaving was much like the last. I was excited at the new ministry that was coming, but I was also dreading leaving behind people who had become very dear to me. In each case I was able to hold it together until the final blessing at my last service. And then, three times, the tears came. They surprised me the first time, and became a comfort in the subsequent leavings. My voice always cracks the last time I give God's blessing to the people who have worked with me in community to further the reach of the Gospel of Jesus. And when I do leave, there remains a hole in my heart for all of them. After nearly twenty years distance from the first leaving, I can tell you that while the tears have dried, the hole doesn't go away. Almost every priest I know is hungry for news of the parishes they have served, what is happening in the lives of the people they have loved and how the community is doing in that place. I can't imagine it's any different for bishops. I've already experienced that longing on the parts of the former bishops of Rhode Island.
But the pain of leaving a community to go forth to new work and ministry isn't unique to the ordained. I've had similar conversations with lay members of the community, who make a point of coming back to visit the church whenever they are back in town, who would rush to coffee hour to hear the news and who continued to hold their former community in their prayers. And I've known a few people for whom the experience of grief at parting is too overwhelming. And they respond to that grief by refusing to reengage a new community partly out of guilt that they were not being true to the community left behind and partly because they can't imagine experiencing that pain again.
All this is true too for our personal relationships, our friendships and our family lives as well.
But according to what Jesus tells us, and what read in Paul's speech today, that pain is an unavoidable part of being alive and working in this imperfect world. There is nothing else to do but push our way through it. That is part of our call to be faithful to Gospel work we are doing. I imagine the pain is like the soreness of an athlete in training. There is no way to achieve the goal we are reaching toward without the hard and painful work of building our selves up to the task.
But this last Saturday in Lent (for tomorrow we begin Holy Week) perhaps it would be appropriate to spend a few moments remembering. Remember the pain of the parting and the way a new community welcomed you in. Are you willing to go through that experience again if God so calls you?
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