Welcoming guests

One of my favorite church blogs is running a series on welcoming visitors to churches. I encourage you to check out the blog, and read the whole series (it's still in progress). Here's a sample to get you started:

...for the first time in years I was being welcomed into a church rather than welcoming people into church. Unable to shake my church-planting mentality, I was particularly sensitive to the way churches approached visitors. After visiting a few different churches, I started to realize something: many churches have forgotten what it's like to go to a church for the first time.

The reason for this seems obvious to me: pastors have been attending church for years. Before they became a pastor, most have received some sort of education while attending a church. In fact, before they even feel the call to the ministry, they have been attending church for years as well--in some cases, they even grew up going to church. All those years of faithful church attendance has groomed them to serve Christ’s church. At the same time, all those years form an insurmountable gap between now and the time they first darkened the door of a church.

Consequently, some churches make some very basic mistakes when they welcome a visitor. If they welcomed you to a dinner party like they welcome a visitor to their church you would never want to come over for dinner again. They are so glad to see you that they make an embarrassing scene. After shaking your hand they ignore you, leaving you to fend for yourself. They exclude you by talking about things you’ve never heard of. They even slip into the common jargon of their friends, leaving you out of the conversation altogether. On top of these faux pas, they forget that you are a little nervous to be there in the first place. Who would want to be at that party? Who would put themselves through that a second time?

That was from part one. Here's a snippet from part two:

What do you think is the most pressing issue for a first time visitor to your church? The doctrine? Now I am a doctrinal stickler, but I’m realistic enough to realize that most visitors don’t care much about this. The music style? Good music can give a great first impression--whether traditional or contemporary--but most visitors will just sing along with whatever you have. The sermon? While a sermon could definitely cause people to leave a church, I don’t think this is the most pressing issue for a first-time visitor. First-time visitors care most about not embarrassing themselves.

There are all sorts of things that can embarrass a church visitor. They might have dressed inappropriately--too formal or too casual. Their children might not know how to act “appropriately” in a church and end up embarrassing their parents. They might be put on the spot as an offering plate is passed to them by a stranger, who they feel is pressuring them to give. They might stand up at the wrong time in the service. They might sing out during the wrong part of a song because the church has a different arrangement than they are used to. The most detrimental embarrassing situation can come from a bad welcome, destroying an otherwise great first impression

Some churches work hard to make people feel welcome, but they undermine their efforts by making it impersonal. Some churches make all their visitors stand up in the middle of the service--a terrible choice considering how much most people fear standing up in front of crowds. I once visited a large church that apparently realized how awkward this made their visitors feel so they did the opposite and asked their members to stand. There I sat, surrounded by towering members in this intimidating church, each hanging over me as they offered me an obligatory welcome and handshake.