"Vestries are worried about pledges and offerings, concerned that they may be less than last year. It is natural for us to be anxious, but anxiety and fear can paralyze the church, creating an atmosphere of stagnation and listlessness. In Paul’s second letter to Timothy he said, ‘God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
-- Bishop’s Convention Address, 2008
Many years ago, a woman gave me an envelope with money inside, and asked that I give it to someone in need. As I was serving in an inner city mission, there were many people who qualified as being “needy.” The neighborhood surrounding our small church was tightly knit, so choosing one person or family over another was difficult, and might have led to distrust and suspicion. In my heart I rehearsed the many people that I had visited, and the many needs that I had observed, and they were overwhelming. It took almost a week for me to remember the family who sold fruits and vegetables from their hand made cart, in a different part of the city. During the summer, I made it a point to purchase food from them. They couldn’t attend church on Sunday because they had to work, but their son sang in the local Episcopal church choir, and when the stand was closed they would attend as a family.
I didn’t know where they lived, so I drove around the neighborhood of the fruit stand, asking people if they knew where I could find Lem and Joan. I was directed to a run-down two car garage on the corner of the block. They sold their fruits and vegetables in the garage that was heated by a kerosene stove. Joan was happy to see me, and our conversation was animated. She pointed to the garage and said, “Times are tough, but God is good. We couldn’t afford an apartment but we got this garage to rent for the winter.” She led me to a corner, set apart by long hanging blankets. As she pulled back the blankets I saw two beds on the garage floor, a light hanging from the ceiling, a propane gas burner, and a few pots and some clothes. “This is home,” she said with a smile, “and we thank God for what we have. There was a young boy leaning on a bed to do his homework. “Remember my son, John, he’s ten now and he’s singing at St. Timothy’s, Christmas Eve, and Lem and I are going to be there.” John looked up and smiled.
Joan and I took a walk down the street, and I said, “Look Joan, a woman in my last parish handed me an envelope with some money to give away, and I want to give it to you and Lem.” As I reached into my pocket her breathing became heavy and her eyes began to well up. I placed the envelope in her small, calloused hands. She was almost afraid to open it, as though it would be empty. Slowly, she opened the enveloped with her rough and cracked fingers, and took a very quick look at the contents. Then she touched each bill slowly, silently counting with her lips. And then she counted again as if the money might not be real: “One, two, three, four, five.” Her shoulders began to shake uncontrollably as she grabbed my shoulders and wept on my coat. It was as if a terrible agony had been removed from her heart and she lifted her arms to the sky and with a wet face said repeatedly, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Jesus.” There were five crisp one hundred dollar bills in the envelope.
Joan was still shaking, when she admitted to me that they owed money for the electricity, and the garage. “We stretch our money to buy kerosene and food because that’s what we really need. But now we’re going to pay back everything,” she said softly, “and put some away for the rest of the winter. Wait ‘til I tell Lem.” With tears still falling upon her face she added, “but first we’re going to surprise John with a Christmas present, because we already told him we couldn’t afford one, and he said ‘that’s okay Mom, I don’t need anything.”
I had tears in my eyes, too, tears of gratitude for Sue who gave me the money, and tears for this extraordinary family. They allowed me to see my blessings in a new way. Indeed, this family rose above fear and timidity, and discovered power, love, and self-discipline in God—even before they opened the envelope.
Christmas is about the extraordinary grace of the Father, sending his son into an unfair and troubled world, to be born in the tents and garages and fields of the poor. However, poverty has different faces. Joan, Lem and John didn’t have much money, but they had abundant faith. There are those whose material treasures are envied by others, but whose spiritual poverty keeps them in despair. This is the season to pray for a rebirth in your life: the birth of Christ within your heart. This is the best gift of all, one that money can’t buy, but which love can give away.
+Geralyn Wolf
On Saturday, January 17th, at St John’s Barrington, Bishop Wolf ordained the Rev. Susan M Carpenter to the Sacred Order of Priests.
